so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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