Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
