Plan B is the new Plan A
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
