You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
