There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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