try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
