K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
