Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize