How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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