i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
