We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
