How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
