This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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