guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
