just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I love having hate sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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