half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize