Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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