If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
