I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
