so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
