his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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