Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
