Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
