im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
