There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I got inside last night via doggy door
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
