smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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