Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize