I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
