i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Never underestimate the power of titties
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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