That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
