I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
