drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
