I'm really into asian looking animals
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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