I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
