If that was your dad, he is hot
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
