I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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