it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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