craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
