Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
