We're like a lot better than the average bears
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
is wine microwaveable?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
