He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
