the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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