I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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