you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I need to align my fucking chakras
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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