How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
