Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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