oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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