Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
