Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
