why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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