Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
