People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
