Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
