If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
