I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
