i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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