She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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