the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
