So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
