you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
