Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
