remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
