Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
