thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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