Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
