you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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