I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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